Hey Amanda,
What's up? That's cool. I've been pretty good. Well, truthfully, I've been better, but who's counting?
Oh, nothing's wrong...per se. I just...I mean...I was kind of wondering what possessed you to decide to go to Costco at 5 on a Tuesday. Via the 5. It's not that it was rude, just that it was sort of...dumb. No offense.
You were out of Diet Coke? And toilet paper? Seriously? Toilet paper and Diet Coke couldn't wait until, say, Saturday morning or Sunday afternoon? I mean...it's your life, live it how you want, but seriously, that was uncalled for.
Next time you do that, I'm not coming. That's all I'm trying to say. You'll have to get value packs of toilet paper on your own.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Break me off a piece of that...fancy feast!
Andy Bernard is one of my favorite people. This Office hiatus is stabbing me in the heart. I do not like it at all.
Warning, friends: Do not watch The Brothers Solomon. You're probably all, "why not, I love Will Arnett like Amanda loves Will Arnett?" Well, I will tell you that it is sore disappointment--but it is a terrible movie. I think it was about 4 dollars at Blockbuster and that was 4 too many.
What is the half-life of Christmas trees? (Yeah right. Like I know what that means any more.) But seriously, how long will it take for our Christmas tree to decompose so that the only thing left to deal with is the ornaments and tree stand? Like four weeks maybe? Hopefully.
Cosmetics announcement: believe the hype about Benefit's "Galactic Shield" because it's all true. Galactic Shield is a concealer stick that contains salicylic acid so it both blends and banishes blemishes. GALACTIC SHIELD! $20 at Sephora, which I know may sound like a lot, but it lasts a long time unless you're crater face Beth from the fifth grade, in which case you need something more along the lines of a skin transplant and not a small concealer.
Video game announcement: I love my Wii! It's the best thing in the world. Guitar Hero, fake tennis, simulated boxing and Mario. What's wrong with that picture? NOTHING, I say!
Warning, friends: Do not watch The Brothers Solomon. You're probably all, "why not, I love Will Arnett like Amanda loves Will Arnett?" Well, I will tell you that it is sore disappointment--but it is a terrible movie. I think it was about 4 dollars at Blockbuster and that was 4 too many.
What is the half-life of Christmas trees? (Yeah right. Like I know what that means any more.) But seriously, how long will it take for our Christmas tree to decompose so that the only thing left to deal with is the ornaments and tree stand? Like four weeks maybe? Hopefully.
Cosmetics announcement: believe the hype about Benefit's "Galactic Shield" because it's all true. Galactic Shield is a concealer stick that contains salicylic acid so it both blends and banishes blemishes. GALACTIC SHIELD! $20 at Sephora, which I know may sound like a lot, but it lasts a long time unless you're crater face Beth from the fifth grade, in which case you need something more along the lines of a skin transplant and not a small concealer.
Video game announcement: I love my Wii! It's the best thing in the world. Guitar Hero, fake tennis, simulated boxing and Mario. What's wrong with that picture? NOTHING, I say!
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Uggs are what's wrong with America.
Yeah, I said it. Uggs are frickin ugly. I throw up in my mouth every single time I see a Uggs-and-miniskirt-with-furry-collar-jacket-but-bare-legs combo. If it's cold enough that could can not bare to take your feetsies out of a knee-high boot of shearling and and down jacket, why are you pairing the hideous combo with a miniskirt. I cringe every time I see someone shuffling around in them. I hate it when I see them in hot weather. They are not snow boots, and they are not rain boots since they are not water proof, so please don't abuse them and wear them as such.
I'll admit it. I own a pair. They are comfortable. They were a gift, so it's not as bad. But I don't abuse them and wear them at in appropriate times and for inappropriate purposes.
Uggs are what's wrong with America. And Mike Huckabee. And what's more, like Mike Huckabee, they just won't go away, will they?
I'll admit it. I own a pair. They are comfortable. They were a gift, so it's not as bad. But I don't abuse them and wear them at in appropriate times and for inappropriate purposes.
Uggs are what's wrong with America. And Mike Huckabee. And what's more, like Mike Huckabee, they just won't go away, will they?
Monday, January 14, 2008
Aggressive Driving
I love San Diego. I do. It's awesome. I just wish there was less driving involved. And I wish the drivers weren't total DB's.
San Diego has turned me into an aggressive driver. The purpose of my various drives is less about getting from A to B and more about who's going to get taught a lesson today.
Here's what you can expect from me on the road:
If you cut me off, I will tailgate you. If it's night, I'll turn on my brights "accidentally" for a minute. Please do not ever cut me off again.
If you unnecessarily ride my ass in a one lane situation, I sure will go 5-7 miles slower than the speed limit until you are forced to screechingly peel out and turn earlier than you had planned. Do not rush me.
If you try to weave in and out of two lane traffic, I will oscillate between 3 mph slower and 3 mph faster than the person right next to me, frustrating the bajesus out of you. Do not crazy person weave around me.
If you do any of those things while talking on your cell phone, I'll call you in for drunk driving. Whoops.
Cross me, and I will destroy you.
San Diego has turned me into an aggressive driver. The purpose of my various drives is less about getting from A to B and more about who's going to get taught a lesson today.
Here's what you can expect from me on the road:
If you cut me off, I will tailgate you. If it's night, I'll turn on my brights "accidentally" for a minute. Please do not ever cut me off again.
If you unnecessarily ride my ass in a one lane situation, I sure will go 5-7 miles slower than the speed limit until you are forced to screechingly peel out and turn earlier than you had planned. Do not rush me.
If you try to weave in and out of two lane traffic, I will oscillate between 3 mph slower and 3 mph faster than the person right next to me, frustrating the bajesus out of you. Do not crazy person weave around me.
If you do any of those things while talking on your cell phone, I'll call you in for drunk driving. Whoops.
Cross me, and I will destroy you.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Spandex and Spirit Fingers
yellooooo!
it's 2008. like, seriously? no way. but yes, it really is.
if you're anything like me, 2007 went by waaaaay too fast. i hardly remember it. seriously. i don't remember much of it. i know d'markus did good things with my hair in 2007 (and emma's!!) but other than that...i guess it was a lot of spandex and spirit fingers. which, all in all, is not a bad thing.
as the purpose of this el blogo is to inform you of things which outrage and puzzle me (and tickle me and make me laugh), i would like to tell you about something i saw this evening while driving to el gymansio. i'm in pacific beach, all, "what's up pb? you got some ragers or what?!?" and i'm coming to a safe stop at a red light when i turn cautiously to my right and notice a man shaving at the stoplight. shaving. this would have been somehow less puzzling to me if it were morning and he were, perhaps, on his way to work. but 5:30 at night? how odd.
it's 2008. like, seriously? no way. but yes, it really is.
if you're anything like me, 2007 went by waaaaay too fast. i hardly remember it. seriously. i don't remember much of it. i know d'markus did good things with my hair in 2007 (and emma's!!) but other than that...i guess it was a lot of spandex and spirit fingers. which, all in all, is not a bad thing.
as the purpose of this el blogo is to inform you of things which outrage and puzzle me (and tickle me and make me laugh), i would like to tell you about something i saw this evening while driving to el gymansio. i'm in pacific beach, all, "what's up pb? you got some ragers or what?!?" and i'm coming to a safe stop at a red light when i turn cautiously to my right and notice a man shaving at the stoplight. shaving. this would have been somehow less puzzling to me if it were morning and he were, perhaps, on his way to work. but 5:30 at night? how odd.
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