The Storm Was A-Brewin

This one has been brewing for a week. I don’t like to nor do I think it necessary to blog every day just to do it. You end up sharing the most asinine details that literally no one but your boyfriend/girlfriend or mother cares about. Thus, I let my stories brew up for a little while so I have several interesting things to share rather than 1 long pile of crapola. Cough.

Here’s what lit the fire this morning: I was driving to work approximately 7:45 A.M. The weather was cool, sunny, lovely. I was be-bopping along to some Brad Paisley, NBD, and glanced briefly to my right a noticed a PRIUS with a RON PAUL bumper sticker. I thought, “this person has got to be joking. They’ve got to be.” But I don’t think they were. Not the right neighborhood. I invite comparisons…as I am at a loss for words. Finish the sentence…Having Ron Paul sticker on your Prius is like…_____________________.

Second Topic of Discussion: The Girl Scouts: Sweet Cookie Sellers, or Satan’s Spawn? I’m pretty sure the Girl Scouts were put on earth by a wildly negative force. They dangled by Satan (assuming he somehow got up north to heaven…probably disguised…whatever whatever). They are not a good thing, and here’s why: A sweet little Girl Scout comes to your door and is like, “would you like some cookies? Our troop is trying to raise money to save the world.” What they are really saying, however, is, “We’re the Girl Scouts. We’re here to ruin all of the hard work that you’ve been doing at the gym and all the strict dieting you’ve been participating in with our Thin Mints. Here…buy a box and eat a sleeve in one sitting.” Ahhhhhh. So bad, but so good.

Well, the finale of Project Runway was this week. We were so excited for it (!) and then we unfortunately had the results ruined for us. Man, it sucks when someone takes the joy and surprise out of something you were looking forward to. If you still haven’t gotten the chance to watch it, I won’t ruin it here. I’ll let someone have some joy, at least. I will say that I was disappointed by the results.

Aggressive Driving

I love San Diego. I do. It's awesome. I just wish there was less driving involved. And I wish the drivers weren't total DB's.

San Diego has turned me into an aggressive driver. The purpose of my various drives is less about getting from A to B and more about who's going to get taught a lesson today.

Here's what you can expect from me on the road:

If you cut me off, I will tailgate you. If it's night, I'll turn on my brights "accidentally" for a minute. Please do not ever cut me off again.

If you unnecessarily ride my ass in a one lane situation, I sure will go 5-7 miles slower than the speed limit until you are forced to screechingly peel out and turn earlier than you had planned. Do not rush me.

If you try to weave in and out of two lane traffic, I will oscillate between 3 mph slower and 3 mph faster than the person right next to me, frustrating the bajesus out of you. Do not crazy person weave around me.

If you do any of those things while talking on your cell phone, I'll call you in for drunk driving. Whoops.

Cross me, and I will destroy you.

paypal, christmas, shoes

but not in that order.

today i wore a brand new pair of heels for the first time. and they broke. no, they weren't marc jacobs, but still. they should not have broken. all day long i was hobbling around like Quasimodo.

it should not be that hard to:

-get gasoline. (california has the worst gas pumps in the world.)
-find a christmas tree stand
-pay for things you bought using pay pal

you guys, christmas is coming! the house is getting so cute! garland and candles and cute things and a christmas tree and some celebration of chanukkah.

Well, Sally is dead

Sally Motornose, the car formerly known as the most trustworthy and dependable grrrrman-made car, is dead. DEAD! She died in a tragic car-battery drain accident. Oh boy.