if PETA calls, tell them i'm clubbing seals

the lengths to which i have gone to rid my apartment of ants are ridiculous. like borderline cruel and unusual. i began by following martha's advice--putting vaseline on the areas through which the ants enter. then, i just put boric acid on those same places. that worked--for a little bit. i also used to just frantically wipe them up with clorox wipes. now, i do things like sprinkle to boric acid on the ants as they are walking into my house. or circling a little clan of them with the poison and watching them try to escape. or lightly misting them bleach until they slow down and eventually die. i watch them throughout this whole ordeal. i like to see them die an agonizing death. it's messed up, y'all.