sunburn management

don't kid yourself-- when you're lying on your stomach for hours at a time nursing the world's stupidest sunburn, you WILL need a kazoo. cause at some point, the intraweb will lose its bedazzle.

don't get me started.

don't even get me started.

my lord.

there is no excuse for ANYONE IN THE WORLD to ever, EVER, EVER use wingdings. ever. especially when it is a somewhat official form. do not use it ever. i'm just saying.

THERE IS NO EXCUSE.

i will hunt you down with a basilisk fang. and you know what that means!

nobody said it was easy.

but nobody said that it would be this hard.

i mean, being an adult is realll hard. grocery shopping alone is a hard thing. sometimes, i'll forget to go grocery shopping for like three weeks and the only thing in my fridge is vitamin water, yogurt, and celery. and, if i were a model, that would be all i would need. but i'm not.

and that's the least of it. i mean, i have to get my car registered in california--what the heck do i have to do and can my mom and dad come do it for me please? (dad--please?)

also, can my mom and dad write me notes when i don't want to do things? and can i go hide by the creek when i'm sad/mad/disenfranchised? like, can i just please be about 12 again? even though i was awkward and not cool and didn't have my ears pierced. cause sometimes, it's all too much.

i believe in

paper

being a good friend, sister and daughter

writing letters

making amends

being silly

stuffed animals/plants being okay substitutes for friends

crying when you need to, but not when you don't want to

five reasons i feel wildly unsafe

okay, two

1. someone was shot a killed a block away from my house like one week ago. the natural conclusion is that i'm next.

2. someone has had a suspicious looking package outside their apartment door for like three weeks. i mean, if it were a bomb, it probably would have gone off by now--but still.

i think i should get a gun or a knife or at least an ax for protection.

things that are fun versus things that are not fun, by amanda l hall

things that are fun:
buying things in bulk
realizing that you are tan--and not just tan-for-you tan, but actually tan.
drinking smart water with lime and feeling like you are jennifer anniston.
buying and burning sage from hippies, only to realize that it smells much more like pot.
clorox wipes--all flavors.

things that are not fun:
stubbing your toe under the tire of your car and separating the toenail from the toe.
getting a blown out tire at 10:45 at night on the freeway and realizing that your jack is broken and having to call and wait for AAA for 45 minutes.
ants
being back logged on dawson's creek.




this + nighttime + 15S +single girl + busted jack and no working flashlight = me tonight.















this + whining + some tears = me this week.






as aunt linda would say: "OH GAAAHHHHHH"

bonjour, jean-otis!

most beloved friends and family:

meet my new friends and roommates: jean-otis and stockholm.

jean-otis is a basil plant. stockholm is a miniature garden gnome.


p.s. MY ONE TOE HURTS!