Cell phones.

I am the most bizarre breed of smart phone fans.  I will admit it here on the internet.  I love my Droid.  I don't know what model it is, I just know that it is connected up with Google and it does the coolest things as well as the most helpful things.  Mobile banking has made me more responsible with the small amount of money I do have.  Maps and Navigation has allowed me to navigate through completely new towns and cities and actually know where the closest gas station is and the street view of where I'm headed.  The horoscope application has encouraged a routine which I'm sure has spared me from cosmic misfortunes as well as helped me realize my potential cosmic success.  The camera allows me to capture the flowers, plants, animals and buildings that I encounter when I have exploring this world.  I wake up in the morning to Joni Mitchell's "Chelsea Morning," brought to me by the Android Market and I am frequently found watching Beyonce's "Run the World."  I can study various species of carnivorous plants with the help of the aptly named "Animal Kingdom - Carnivorous Plants" app.  All this is not to mention recipes on the run, scrabble, and the stars that this can identify!

But.

And there's a big but.


I do it in small amounts of time and not while I am with people at all.  Similarly, I will not neglect people I am actually with to mess around with "texting" and definitely do not like to alienate people I'm with by taking unnecessary calls in company.  I don't use my phone while I'm driving.  I don't answer it or look at it while I'm at work.  I think it's because of the extraordinary manners training in manners that I received from Mama & Papa Hall (if you're reading this, Thank You).  Unfortunately, I am a rare breed in this increasingly mobile-centric world.  I wish more people would get off their phones and join the world; there is a lot that they're missing.

I've always been fascinated by Knock Knock's paper products, including this mildly abrasive but utterly effective citizen citation.  I wish I had had that citation pad last evening, as I would have issued citations to 3 individuals on the 800 block of Orange Avenue.  I strolled past 3 young women walking together with purpose, each with a phone at their ear having 3 separate conversations with the grace and poise of Blair Waldorf's 3 head-banded mignions were they Californians and not chic New Yorkers.  There was a lot of giggling.  There were a lot of Likes, and possibly even more Oh My Gods.  They were audible for a half a block and they left little room for passers-by to navigate around their preposterous behavior.  It was bewildering and hilarious all at the same time.  But somehow still less offensive than when I encountered 4 grown adults out at dinner who had a group iphoning session that went on for over a half an hour.  When did people start believing this behavior was appropriate??  Why is it more important to stay abreast of the internet activity of others than it is to experience what is happening out here in the real world?

Like I said, I love this Android phone.  And I understand all of the smart phone love going around.   But by-gosh, I wish everyone would love it a little less of the time and a little more in private.